Editor’s note: The following book proposal was found by one of our correspondents on his way to work one morning crossing Boston Common. He found it on a park bench, where it was presumably left by one of our leading public figures. We print it here as a public service.

To: Weld’s publisher

From: Paul Cellucci

Re: Book proposal

Date: June 31, 1998

TITLE: “The Longshot”, “Horserace Politics” or, “Shad from Shinola”

SYNOPSIS: My book tells the story of a rising Italian politician from the small town of Dayton, Mass. He’s a very handsome fellow, by the way. (I see DeNiro in the film version, but I’m getting ahead of myself.) Anyway, this guy is named Bobby Cavallo. (O.K., his real name is Roberto Guglielmo Ossobuco Cavallo, but he doesn’t like to go by his initials, R.G.O.)

One day, Bobby decides he doesn’t want to spend his life behind the counter at the family bicycle shop. So he breaks into politics. Only the thing is, he has to play second fiddle to this real WASP guy who makes everything look easy, Gov. Acton. Until one day, Acton is killed in a hunting accident while he’s huntin’ boar.

So, Cavallo gets his big chance to become Actin’ Governor. Only he’s got a problem: money. Seems he has been doing some deficit spending at the racetrack. He has a no-show job teaching at a local university, but instead of going to class he goes to the track and bets the ponies. So, he owes a lot of money (I mean, a shitload) to these Irish-mafia types. In this one scene, the head Irish guy (call him “Blackie”–I’d hate to get the real guy mad) pays a visit to Cavallo and threatens to report the Actin’ Guv to the FBI.

Right about here, the love interest comes in. Cavallo doesn’t know it, but he’s being watched by Ginny Cunningham, who’s a reporter for the Boston World and who’s been investigating Cavallo’s financial situation. She’s snooping around the Executive Suite one night, and she bumps into Cavallo. They’re all alone. He sees his chance to win her over. I haven’t figured out exactly what happens next, but it will be good. Real good.

Anyway, Cavallo decides to go for it. He’s gonna try to win back all the money he owes, and he’s gonna do it by gambling all he’s got on one last run of the ponies, a high-stakes filly race. So, he’s at the track, looking over the field for the big race:

1. The Mare of Boston
2. Kappa Kappa Gamma
3. Knot 2 Swift
4. Chip Hunt
5. Grand Old Patty
6. Et Cetera

Bobby picks No. 3, cause he likes the name. He’s approaching the betting window when he gets a call on the cell phone. It’s Phil, the goomba groom-bro. Trouble. Word around the stables is there’s a problem with No. 3–she’s pregnant! Now, Bobby’s really got a problem. He’s standing there by the window, asking himself: Should I stick with her, or bail out?

This is the other part I haven’t figured out.

LITERATURE REVIEW: My book is different than other books because it’s set in Massachusetts. That will give it local appeal. Plus, a lot of people have heard of Massachusetts, so that will give it national appeal.

TARGET AUDIENCE: I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t not want to not have read this book.

PAGES: Yes.