Fred Rogers (From Wikipedia)

I KNEW I HAD to confess during our first meeting. I was one of 500 educators from around the world on a Zoom and the chat box was filling up. Most of the comments were glowing praise for the man whose legacy brought us together. As It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood played, participants admitted that they were weeping, moved to tears by that familiar music.

Not me. And I felt like a fraud; I had never watched one of the nearly 900 episodes of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. It certainly wasn’t because my parents took a stance against television. As a small child I watched The Elephant Show obsessively. But for some reason, I never entered the Neighborhood of Make Believe. Until now.

So how did I wind up with all these devotees? Well, for the past academic year, I have participated in The Educators’ Neighborhood, an initiative created by the Fred Rogers Institute. The main program component is a monthly Zoom meeting where we discuss Fred Rogers’ Fundamentals of Learning and Growing: play, curiosity, looking and listening carefully, self-worth, solitude, and trust. Together with other higher education professionals, I have been exploring how best to incorporate these principles into undergraduate and graduate courses and encourage my students to utilize them with the children they serve.

However, the most impactful moment for me was on our first day when we heard a recording of Mr. Rogers singing, “It’s you I like, every part of you. Your skin, your eyes, your feelings whether old or new. I hope that you’ll remember, even when you’re feeling blue, that it’s you I like. It’s you yourself. It’s you.”

This is when the chat box exploded with comments and collective memories. I was moved by the vulnerability of those who expressed what this song still means to them. For many people Mister Rogers was the only adult who told them that they were worthy of love and attention. That they were enough. And in that moment, I realized why Mister Rogers wasn’t important to me as a child. I recognized just how lucky I was to hear those sentiments at home. I didn’t have to search for that kind of love and reassurance. But children who needed unconditional acceptance could always find it with Mister Rogers.

At William James College in Newton, I support students working towards their master’s degrees in clinical mental health counseling. In addition to my regular duties in field education, I assembled a library of books and toys that students can employ during their internships. My students often ask how best to utilize these materials in sessions focused on behavioral management. These future counselors are looking for activities to help eliminate tantrums or encourage “good” behavior. As a result of my time with the Educators’ Neighborhood, I have a new response to every one of these questions: first, tell me what you like about the child, and whether the child knows how much they are liked.

Behavior management plans often encourage parents and teachers to make conditional statements such as, “I like being with you when… “or “I love spending time with you when…” Within the bounds of the therapeutic relationship, a counselor has the freedom to just say, “I  like you.”

Counselors like their young clients when they are listening, engaged, and playful. More importantly, we also like them when they are sad, defiant, or angry. When children see themselves through their counselor’s eyes, they must see a child who is likable just because. I got to experience this powerful connection myself in that first meeting when I told the Fred Rogers Institute team that I was a “newbie” when it came to watching the show. Despite my trepidation, I was welcomed with excitement and a promise that I had found myself in the right place.

After being immersed in the Neighborhood of Make Believe for the past year, I’m ready to add Mister Rogers’ songs and scripts to my students’ required readings. Of course, we will continue to study the greats and role play during training sessions. I will offer guidance and direction and help prepare them for real world interactions with the children in their care. I will describe what I want for them and expect from them. But if nothing else, I am certain that at least a few of my students will need to hear that my new friend Mister Rogers and I like them just the way they are.

Katie Thomas is the assistant director of field education for counseling and behavioral health at William James College in Newton.